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Tuesday 30 October 2012

A General and Nonsensical list of things I have learnt so far about the French and their culture


  1. Conditioner barely exists and if it does, it's bloody expensive
  2. A Quarter Pounder with Cheese can also come with bacon
  3. Burger King doesn't exist 
  4. The French have absolutely no shame of stopping you in the middle of the street and asking you for a cigarette
  5. Things don't last; in Britain, if you buy credit for your phone or if you want to top up your oyster card you can do so and the money on there will last until you use it. In France the money will only last a week and I have no clue why
  6. Most tramps have dogs because if they have dogs they cannot go to prison
  7. Duff beer has to be blanked out in the Simpsons because a German beer company won legal rights from Fox to call their beer "Duff". As this beer is sold in France it cannot be advertised on TV as it is illegal to advertise alcohol on tv
  8. If you pay more than over 3E for a bottle of wine you are a fool
  9. The French aren't very forgiving, if you make a mistake YOU MAKE A MISTAKE
  10. A definite lack of humour
  11. Red/Ginger hair is very rare over here so when you say to people "my family are Scottish" they reply with "OOOHHH That's why your hair is that colour!" or compare you to the girl from Brave
  12. If you say you're from Scotland people are nicer to you
  13. Salt and Vinegar doesn't exist as a crisp flavour but bolognese does
  14. Halloween isn't really celebrated because it's seen as a marketing scam
  15. The metro is always busy. ALWAYS! You're very lucky if you can get a seat.
  16. Despite being the fashion capital of the world, there is very little style here
  17. They have a shit ton of flavours of jaffa cakes
  18. If you're walking around and someone comes up to you and says they've found a ring walk away because it's a scam
  19. Girls don't wear a lot of make up here or dress up, even when they go out. 
  20. They really fucking love quiz shows
  21. The streets smell like weed
  22. People give up their seats for children on the metro, what the hell is that about? Why are children allowed on them in the first place?
  23. The milk is weird here, its UHT or thick sour yoghurt 
  24. There's not a big music scene and most of the music here sucks ass as its all european pop
  25. Canadians are weird but French Canadians are even weirder (but I think we all knew that anyway)
There's probably a lot more that I'm forgetting but this is my rant for the moment.

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